ForCody

Cody was born on the 6th January 2002 at the Wagga Wagga Base Hospital. At the time we lived on a farm out of town and there were huge power lines overhead. Could that have caused Leukaemia while I was pregnant and he in his stage of develepment? We'll probably never know but it's always a thought in my mind!

Besides being small and very pale Cody has always been active and healthy. He has a sister and two brothers and being the baby of the family always got lots of attention!

Cody was diagnosed on the 22nd March 2005. Unlike some of the other Leukaemia sufferers he was not ill for a long time before diagnosis and did not have lots of bruising and bleeding. His only ailment was his stomach ache and temperature which came on suddenly.

Once diagnosed Cody had a hard time dealing with treatment, hospitilization and medicine! He had hardly ever taken medicine in his short little life and was not impressed! At first he was put onto Prednisolone, which is a steriod. He was very agressive, very unhappy and completely obsessed with food. It was so hard to watch a normally happy, loving boy turn into a completely different child!

We had bad days where he would throw tantrums and kick and hit. His favourite saying at the time was 'go away'. It broke my heart to see him like this. Thankgoodness that phase of his treatment ended...

His next phase involved needles in the leg four out of seven days. I learnt to do them myself as the trip to the hospital to get them done was often more stressful for Cody than just having it done quickly at home. I was always so scared I'd do it wrong but I managed. He also had tablets and antibiotics. It is so strange to be giving your child tablets orally with gloves on so as not to contaminate yourself. It reminds you how strong the medication is!

Pretty soon Cody lost his hair. It was falling out all over the place and we ended up shaving it. There were mouth ulcers, nappy rashes, thrush, aching joints and vomiting to contend with. Not to mention the sudden unexplained high temperatures which caused several mad rushes to the hospital.

Testing for blood levels became common practice as did blood transfusions and platelet transfusions. I completely freaked out the first couple of days we were in Sydney and they said "he needs a blood transfusion". It is strange to think of other peoples blood being pumped into your little one! Every transfusion and every treatment comes with a list of side effects. It's just so scary and in the end you just have to trust that the doctors know what's right and go with it.

Bone marrow aspirations and lumbar punctures happen regularly. They involve general anesthetic and fasting for hours before hand. They are scary stuff too!

My children have not been very sick throughout their lives. On the odd occassion a hospital stay has been necessary and I've stayed the night and always left thinking "thank god I don't have to spend another night here". I would always talk about the mothers with terminally ill children and say "I could never cope with that"! Then it happened to us. What a shock!

Guess what - you do cope, you do go on. You stand by your child and you stand strong. You have to. There's no backing out, there's no running away because it's your baby, and you are needed more than ever. You find ways to deal with things, you cry when your alone, you even try to go on as normally as possible by acting as if nothing has changed. But it has. Everything has changed. Nothing is normal anymore. Life is now a series of doctors, hospitals, needles, medication, temperatures, worry and extreme fear. Nomatter what anyone says, nomatter how positive you try to be the fear always creeps in. "How long will my child live" is a question that just won't go away. "Did I kiss him enough today, did I hug him enough, did I take enough photo's to last me a life time?" This is the reality for us now.

So we go on, trying our best to do our best and to give him the best we can.

Piczo